My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.
I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
The Mediocre Joker
Welcome to the dad-a-base
The Mediocre Joker
Welcome to the dad-a-base
Wife Jokes
Welcome to the light-hearted world of wife humor, where laughter and love go hand in hand!
Today, we’re celebrating the joys and quirks of married life with a delightful collection of jokes dedicated to our better halves.
From witty quips about everyday married life to playful anecdotes about husband-wife dynamics, this list is a heartwarming tribute to the strong and loving bond shared between spouses.
Whether you’re a husband looking to share a chuckle with your wife or simply enjoy a good laugh, these jokes are sure to resonate with anyone who’s experienced the joys and occasional challenges of married life.
So, put on your wedding ring, share a smile with your sweetheart, and join us on a laughter-filled journey through our list of wife jokes that will have you appreciating the love and laughter that come with the territory of being married!
My wife asked me if I thought we needed new patio furniture.
I’m sitting on the fence.
I gave my French wife a pendant with “le monde” inscribed in it.
It means the world to her.
The other day I had just come home from work when my wife ran towards me and tore off all her clothes.
Suddenly my wife flashed before my eyes.
I met my wife at a local chess tournament.
She made the first move.
Last night, my wife and I watched three movies back-to-back.
Luckily, I was the one facing the TV.
My wife says I’m getting fat, but in my defense:
I’ve had a lot on my plate recently.
My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.
I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
My girlfriend said if we don’t get married soon she’s gonna kill me.
It’s a matter of wife or death.
My wife threatened to leave me because of my “disgusting habits.”
I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.
My wife has asked me to stop making police puns.
I said “OK, I’ll give it arrest!”
My wife left me because of my gambling addiction.
But I know I can win her back.
I got my wife a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
My wife told me I ruined her birthday.
That’s crazy, I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
My wife leaned over and said, “I love your dad bod.”
I shrugged and replied, “yeah, it’s growing on me.”
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Me: “That’s a relief. I didn’t like this one either.”
I met my wife at the adhesive factory where we both worked.
We bonded immediately.
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game.