Welcome to the dad-a-base
Welcome to the dad-a-base
Jokes About Marriage
Welcome to the delightful realm of marital humor, where laughter and love dance in perfect rhythm!
Today, we’re embarking on a laughter-filled journey through a handpicked collection of the web’s funniest jokes about marriage.
From clever quips about married life’s ups and downs to playful anecdotes that capture the essence of matrimonial bliss, this list is a celebration of the joys, quirks, and occasional challenges that come with tying the knot.
Whether you’re a seasoned spouse or simply appreciate a good laugh, these jokes are sure to strike a chord and bring a smile to your face faster than a wedding march.
So, take a seat next to your better half, share a knowing glance, and join us as we explore the humorous side of the sacred institution of marriage with our list of uproarious jokes that will leave you saying, “I do… love your jokes!”
I met my wife at a local chess tournament.
She made the first move.
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
My girlfriend said if we don’t get married soon she’s gonna kill me.
It’s a matter of wife or death.
My wife threatened to leave me because of my “disgusting habits.”
I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.
My wife has asked me to stop making police puns.
I said “OK, I’ll give it arrest!”
My wife left me because of my gambling addiction.
But I know I can win her back.
Scientists have recentlv discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive.
It’s called wedding cake.
Did you hear about the two spiders that got engaged?
I hear they met on the web.
My wife told me I ruined her birthday.
That’s crazy, I didn’t even know it was her birthday.
My wife leaned over and said, “I love your dad bod.”
I shrugged and replied, “yeah, it’s growing on me.”
My wife left me because we had a rocky relationship.
I guess I took her for granite.
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with.
She said yes, all the others had been nines and tens.
The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage.
She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I looked at the therapist and responded…
“Divorce is strong with this one!”
Dad jokes in the streets.
Dad bod in the sheets.
I met my wife at the adhesive factory where we both worked.
We bonded immediately.