Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house?
Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
The Mediocre Joker
Welcome to the dad-a-base
The Mediocre Joker
Welcome to the dad-a-base
Jokes About Alcohol
I almost invested in a distillery, but I backed out at the last minute.
I found out it was a whiskey business.
My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
Things got tense.
I was in a liquor store and the owner asked me if I needed help.
I replied, “Yes, but I’ll have a bottle of whisky instead.”
What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
He let out a little wine.
A teacher walks into a bar and asks “Can I have a beer?”
The bartender says “I don’t know, CAN YOU?”
What month is the best for beer?
Feb-BREW-ary.
A ghost walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
A giraffe walks into a bar.
“Sorry,” says the bartender, “We don’t serve Heineken here.”
Been reading a bunch of studies about the major dangers of drinking.
It’s so horrible that my New Year’s resolution is to quit reading altogether.
Eminem walks into a bar and orders a round of shots.
The bartender says “You only get one shot.”